Everyone’s therapeutic journey is different. Unique to them. As unique as their face or their fingerprint. There is no right way of doing therapy and there is no one reason for starting therapy.
I grew up in a very unhappy environment. My parents were unusually unhappy together. And so my training as a therapist started in childhood. I learned early on to wonder what the hell was going on. I tried to make sense of a situation which really didn’t make any sense.
And years later I copied the same dysfunctional behaviours in my own intimate relationships with the same level of success that my parents had achieved.
I needed therapy to help me understand what was going on and to start to think about how I could do things differently.
Therapy helped me make sense of why I did certain things and why they didn’t work. It gave me options…I learned that I could choose to do things differently. It helped me relate to my anger differently and express it in a more useful way. And it helped me develop a calm island in the middle of a stormy sea where I can rest and think about how I want to respond to life.
Therapy has helped me deal with anger issues and it has helped me deal with loss and grief. So much of life is about loss and how we deal with it… the loss involved in getting older and knowing there will be an end to this journey.
Therapy has helped me make meaning of the life I lead. It is not for the faint-hearted. It can be fun…after all…it is all about you…but it also can be gruelling…gut wrenching work. It involves taking a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and not looking away. There is always the possibility of laughter and tears and the delight in being surprised by yourself.
I am trained in a number of therapeutic modalities but in terms of learning to think about yourself and the world I would strongly recommend Transactional Analysis. It is unique in its theoretical framework which provides a way of seeing and understanding the world and it offers an alternative way of relating to yourself and others.
I have been in therapy for a long time but this isn’t necessary for everyone. Some people have short-term therapy and manage to get what they want from that. But if you are considering having therapy…I would say…do it. It is the best thing you can do for yourself. After all, there is no-one more interesting than you…you are the person you are having a life-long relationship with…you deserve to get to know who you are and to be living the life you want to live.